And I was Proud
by 13Ariana
Summary: Kayli is broken after Austin leaves her, and she never was the best at coping.
1. And I Was Proud

**So after that depressing episode of Make It, I was thoroughly sad, then I had an idea! So, here's this story...**

I sat in Austin's empty room, a feeling of a cold unwantedness blossoming inside of me. I sobbed. I had never thought Austin would ever do that to me, he was so sweet, and loving. Then... when I found my journal entree in a box in Austin's empty room, it almost killed me. I finally picked myself up enough to leave his room, without making a spectacle of myself, once I was back in my empty room, Payson, Jordan, and Wendy were god knows where, and for that I was grateful, as soon as the door shut, I broke down once again.

"How could Austin do that to me?" I whispered aloud, before falling onto the couch, and curling up into a ball, crying myself to sleep.

The next morning Payson shook me awake, my head was pounding, and I could tell my eyes were red and puffy from crying.

"Kaylie! Only one hour until we have to be at the gym!" she threw a leo at me along with an oversized sweatshirt to cover up, I realized it was Austin's, it smelt like him, my heart ached. I sat up and slipped into the bathroom, hoping Pay wouldn't notice my appearance. When I looked in the mirror, I was reminded even more of Austin's departure. My mascara had run down my face, and my eyes were indeed red and puffy. I splashed cold water on my face, the drops waking my skin up instantly, I brushed my teeth, then slipped into my pink leotard, thinking the color was far too bright and happy for a day like today. After sleeking my dark hair into a ponytail, I walked over to my room, choosing shorts and a tank top rather than the sweatshirt. Afterwards I walked back to the kitchen, expecting to see at least one of my roommates eating an apple or banana, but like last night it was empty, I saw three notes on the fridge, accounting for each of my roommates, the first note was from Wendy-

Hi guys! I went to the store to buy more Gatorade! Xoxoxoxo! Love yahs!

I rolled my eyes, and went onto Jordan's-

Went to train early.

We had been on better terms lately, but she still seemed guarded towards me, which was normal, these things didn't happen overnight, but it was nice that she let me know where she was. I pulled the last note off, easily telling each one by the writing, Wendy's was written in purple pen, with big loopy cursive, and the 'i's' dotted with hearts. Jordan's looked like a computer font, and Payson's was nervous and scrawly. Payson's read-

Went to get a morning bite with Rigo! See you at practice.

That note hurt a little, Payson was happy with her new guy, and I, I was left. Sad and alone. I looked over at the kitchen, thinking about breakfast, but instead I went for a run, I improved my mile by a full seventeen seconds, and I had managed seven miles within the hour, only stopping to rehydrate. I jogged into the gym, feeling proud of myself, after a nearly perfect practice I was still on the top of the list. Somehow I managed not to think of Austin for the whole practice. I had to focus. Plus I never thought of him before the break-up during practice, I was always a hundred percent focused. After the day was done, I got back to the room, seeing the large dark heather gray sweatshirt in a sad pile on the floor, next to the sofa. I walked over, slipping into it, and inhaling the smell of Austin's cologne. I cried myself asleep again, curled up, my whole body fit into the fabric. As I lost consciousness I realized I hadn't eaten that day. And I was proud of myself.

**Xoxo- Ari!**


	2. Author's Note

**There is an important issue I'd like to address,**

**I'd like to apologize to whomever left the Anonymous review, I'm sorry I offended you. In no way did I mean to make a mockery out of anorexia; I am currently struggling with disease, as well as bulimia, so in no way do I ever want to mock the disease. I'm deeply sorry that I made you unhappy, If you'd like to talk to me personally, you can message my account privately. Another thing I'd like to address about his/her review was him/her saying Kaylie wouldn't go back to her anorexia just because Austin left, I agree, there is more to it, which I didn't include in the last chapter, what I think would make her fall back into her disease is the combination of her support system leaving, as well as Olympic trials being so close. I may not continue with this story, though it is no individual's fault. The Anonymous review made me realize I must be more sensitive to these issues, because everyone goes through different experiences when struggling with addiction such as eating disorders. I'm very sorry I offended you, as well as any others that had similar feelings. I hope I've cleared up any upsets.**

**-Ari.**


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